Note: This article is an online supplement to Volume 9, Number 3 (Winter 2000) of Bright Ideas and is adapted from a handout distributed at a workshop entitled "Transitioning Transgendered People in the Workplace" at the National Multicultural Institute, Washington, D.C., June 1999.

Most of us have some experience with dealing with issues of oppression, heterosexism, ableism, racism, etc. We are either the targets of one or more forms of oppression, or more often, we are friends of people who encounter these different "isms" in their everyday lives. As friends we are called upon to support, listen, and validate the experiences of those who are targeted by these "isms." And our friendship is highly valued and very important. However, there will come a time when those who are targeted by oppression need us to be something more than friends and it is up to us to make a conscious decisions to move from being a friend to becoming an "ally."

A friend is someone who:

• Is a sympathetic listener;
• Offers support privately and personally;
• Wants to be supportive but is not always sure how;
• Is receptive to conversation/discussion of the issue;
• Takes a reactive stance by responding to inappropriate comments, behaviors, actions, etc. as they arise;
• Is aware that differences affect people, yet is more comfortable focusing on "common humanity " ;
• Offers suggestions or advice for ways to deal with issue or incident;
• Is optimistic/helps cheer up the target group members when incident occurs;

An ally is someone who:

• Addresses issue, not just incident;
• Mobilizes and organizes to respond to issue without prompting from target group member;
• Is willing to take risks that may affect one's place, position/and authority within their dominant group;
• Is visible, active, vigilant, and public (even when the target person is not in the room);
• Is willing to recognize the inherent privilege and power of being a member of the dominant group;
• Views membership in the dominant group as an opportunity to bring about change;
• Is proactive more often than reactive. Is always intentional, overt, vocal, consistent, and public about being an ally ; there is no such thing as a passive/silent ally

Note: Being an ally is not without risks; allies might be tuned out, ridiculed, labeled as biased, isolated. They may burn out, they may not see the result of their efforts.

What members of targeted groups should be able to expect from allies:

• Respect, support, recognition;
• That they use their power to promote social justice;
• That they will "do their own work" (reflect on personal prejudices, learn more about issues of target group, for example);
• That they will make mistakes and learn from them;
• That they will believe what people of targeted groups are saying about their experiences without searching for "perfectly logical explanations" and signs of "oversensitivity" on our part;
• That they will allow the focus of the discussion to remain on the issue at hand without looking for ways to connect it / compare it / contrast it to other forms of oppression (even when connections may exist);
• That they resist the temptation to "rank oppressions" and do not allow others (including target group members) to do so.